Who Am I Now?

Sometimes we get the same lesson over and over again.

For me, it’s that living in a new place unsettles my sense of identity. I felt this most acutely when I moved from Houston, TX to Washington, DC.

DC felt unfamiliar, hostile in some ways. I felt that my suburban identity did not fit in the city and so I went about trying to reinvent myself. The problem with the reinvention was that instead of maintaining my uniqueness, I tried to fit into a mold that really did not suit me.

The result? Disconnection. I felt disconnected from myself and from others. I could not genuinely connect because I was not really being myself.

Big life transitions are like that. When the world is (or seems to be) fundamentally changed, it takes time and effort to adapt.

The trick is to bring ourselves into that space rather than making ourselves smaller.

The world needs you, the real you. You may not believe that, but it’s true. You are uniquely made for a purpose in this world and

when you make yourself smaller,

when you choose not to use your gifts and talents,

when you withdraw,

the world is diminished.‍ ‍

We live in a time when many people’s lights are diminished.‍ ‍

It’s why life feels so empty, interactions seem hollow, and everything feels like a sales pitch rather than a genuine encounter.

The good news is that noticing the disconnect is the first step in healing.

What’s one thing that you can do to reconnect with your authentic self? What’s one thing you can do to acknowledge how you really feel?

When was the last time you let yourself so something without a specific goal in mind? My favorite way to do that is painting. I like to just start with a color - whatever color seems to match my mood, and then play around and see what feels best. Some days the paint wants to be watery and drippy and super messy. Other days big blobs of paint and adding texture to the canvas feels great.

Not into paint? Clay is my next favorite. You can throw it onto the ground. Mash it, squish it, sculpt it…

Go express yourself creatively and just see what happens.